What is this feeling?
Is it just me?
Or does he feel it too?
Do I want this?
Why am I so confused?
Can’t this brick wall just fall down and let me take chance on love again?!
I feel it
and
I can’t deny it.
Yes, I do like you, Mister X.
A whirlwind kind of life
Wow! I’m finally writing something down instead of just posting quotes off my favorite quote website. lol.
A lot has happened recently in my life. Well not necessarily, but I’ve done a lot of activities and been part of a few events.
First of, GINTRE. Like wow! Totally tiring and hellish, but well worth the pain and stress! I’ll miss working with the girls, but I see them around campus anyway so it’s okay. lol!
Second of, UTS PrakDip. Today was so much fun! We are soooo together as a team (far beyond what I had expected, honestly). It wasn’t tiring for us, as much as it was rather boring sitting in the seat listening to ‘06 talk about Services. Hmm ya ya…
But honestly, I enjoyed it and it was just real fun! Protocol is the bomb-diggity!
Personal moment:
In my little group of friends, Cupid has shot its love arrow and hit Dea whilst another love arrow still remains in Abie’s heart.
I just got to thinking, I want a boyfriend. Okay, not necessarily that part; I just want somebody to love (besides family and friends) and somebody to love me back.
It’s been awhile since I’ve cared oh so deeply for anyone. Even though I have this gut instinct that my special someone isn’t in FISIP UNPAR, I won’t give up. I believe someone is out there but it’s beyond frustrating having to wait and find a guy to like.
It’s not that I need a life to steer my thoughts away from wanting a guy since it can be distracting, but this time… I relli do want a guy to call my own.
Boys boys… I can certainly live without them, but I just choose not to. lol!
Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: “What! You too? I thought I was the only one.
Circle of girlfriends!
My friends… No, my best friends.
My biggest fans.
My sisters.
My supporter.
My shoulder to lean on.
My thigh to sleep on.
My savior when I’m blue.
My sun when there’s no light.
My bank to loan money from when I’m broke. lol.
My girls… Ya’ll are truly something special.
I have been profoundly blessed by the Lord for having all of you in my life.
I feel safe knowing that when I’m in deep trouble or when I’m having to go through obstacles in life, ya’ll are there.
“And I don’t try to hide my tears
The secrets, all my deepest fears
Through it all nobody gets me like you do”
- from Taylor Swift’s song I’m Only Me When I’m With You
To whom it may concern
I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spend with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don’t care anymore
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I’m never gonna be good enough for you
I can’t stand another fight
And nothing’s alright
Nothing’s gonna change the things that you said
Nothing’s gonna make this right again
Please don’t turn your back
I can’t believe it’s hard
Just to talk to you
But you don’t understand
A bucket of tears
I feel like life is closing in on me.
To not believe in God, I must disagree.
But to lose hope, that I agree.
Since Monday, I have cried and cried with little results. I have prayed and will continually do so. I have lost my path and will eventually lose myself if nothing works out.
To have another dream shattered when it could be prevented, I don’t know if I can take it once more.
As my eyes fill with tears writing this blog, I feel dead.
My heart is half-ripped, my eyes are tired from lack of sleep and stressing too much, and my brain. My poor brain. It’s neurons are being overworked by a psychotic woman who stresses too much and hopes too little of the world and its miracles.
What to do now?
Dear God,
Forgive me for I have sinned.
My head can be held high, but do forgive me if I am not myself.
Anyone got a nutcracker? Cuz I wanna crack my hard-headed self open.
Remove my brains and let me forget all that has happened in my life.
Now I know that I can never start fresh.
I thought she was kidding
I’m so embarrassed having gone to the same high school as her and all of my Bekasi friends. Relli embarrassed.
Here’s why:
Cewek: Eh can, kemana aj lo? Hilang gt aja…
Me: haha.. iya ni, aku disappear mulu!
Cewek: disappear dimana? di bandung?
*All confused inside and thinking she was joking*
Me: hahaha.. lucu2!
Cewek: Kok ketawa can?
Me: Ya kan kamu bilang disappear dimana. Disappear kan bukan tempat…
Cewek: Ohhhh.. jadi apa dong?
*EXTREMELY DUMBFOUNDED*
Me: Itu kata, dew..
Cewek: Artinya apa?
*thinking she must be kidding*
Me: disappear = menghilang. wahh.. ketauan bgt kamu g perhatiin kelas inggris slm SMA. hahaha.. kidding.
Cewek: Km tau lah inggris susah.
Thinking to myself, “Right… sure it is…”
Bless her soul.
More than I can chew
It’s almost a week since the Ramadan holidays have passed and I am no where near less stressed out.
I need a break.
I’m being pulled left and right, meetings happening nearly everyday for pete’s sake!! Ahh! I’m going crazy. My tasks are done but I don’t feel like I did it correctly thus I consider it still piling up.
My period’s coming up and my hormones are acting up as usual and it’s driving me nuts.
Even in my dorm I’m having issues with Meta and her problemos.
I can’t escape.
My life is spinning in circles like that of a kaleidoscope, minus the colorful stuff.
I forgot to return my book back to the library. I hate borrowing books now.
If I could suck up all the oxygen there is in the world, I would.
Even Taylor Swift’s wonderful and colorful lovely songs can’t help me out.
Passing HNMUN 2010
I passed the whole entire process for HNMUN 2010!!!
I’m so beyond excited, there’s no words to actually describe the feeling of succeeding.
All the stressing out, negative thinking, and all that stuff was well worth it cuz it paid off in the end!
Who cares that my monthly friend visited me 9 days late because i stressed out too much about HNMUN?? That doesn’t matter now. All that matters is the present. What has happened today is important.
My parents were happy and pleased, especially mon pere.
My sister was happy but that was about it. Some sisterly love! Hmph!
Now, it’s my turn to make mommy and daddy proud.
It is time for me to be at the UN Headquarter, take a picture there, and prove to them that I’m capable of being a UN Ambassador and that I’m serious about my dreams.
Screw the money, I want to be a Goodwill Ambassador!
So United States, once again, I’m coming!!
(Lame entry, I know)
8 Years Never Forgotten
8 years ago the world watched in silence.
8 years ago Americans were shocked.
8 years ago there was a terrorist attack that sent shockwaves around the world.
8 years ago Americans experienced one of the worst tragedies ever.
8 years ago I was sitting in the cafeteria watching at the TV along with the others.
8 years ago I didn’t understand what the big deal was about.
8 years ago I walked from the bus stop and finally understood what happened.
8 years ago I watched CNN and shed a tear.
8 years ago I didn’t understand why people would do such horrendous act.
8 years later Americans are still standing strong.
8 years later the world is closer now more than ever in fighting terrorism.
8 years later we still haven’t given up on the fight against Al-Qaeda.
8 years later we still haven’t captured Osama bin Laden but we haven’t given up.
8 years later we continue commemorating September 11th.
8 years later we haven’t forgotten one bit of what happened on this tragic day.
8 years later we sing our national anthem with even greater pride.
8 years later the red, white, and blue flag is still here. We are going nowhere.
